Gmail's IMAP implementation is very weird. Following their default instructions you will end up with a ton of messages in All Mail, as they are never being deleted, only "hidden". This is a behavior I don't want. when I delete a message I want it put in trash, where I can look and see if I need it for a little bit and it goes away after a longer while.

To do this in Thunderbird you have to change your Account Settings. In Server Settings you have to choose "Move it to the Trash Folder" in the when I delete a message field. You also have to quit thunderbird and modify the configuration to tell it that the trash folder is [Gmail]/Trash. This article says how to change the name.